Andrew and Aaron's 1st angel baby birthday

Today marks one year that my precious babies Andrew and Aaron were born angels. I was thinking about them all day and wondering what they would have looked like now, had they made it. I would have one busy house, that is for sure. I miss them terribly, but I know I will see them again when I pass on from this life to the next. Nate and I went to walmart to get some groceries and I picked out a green frosted cupcake. We went home and put a number 1 candle on top and Nate sang his own version of happy birthday to his brothers. It was a very tender moment. I think it is a good tradition and we will keep doing it year after year. I lost the pregnancy I told you about in January. It lasted 8 weeks and we saw a heartbeat and everything. I was so happy when we saw the heartbeat, I thought this time it was going to be ok. I had to take pills to get me to miscarry once they saw on the ultrasound the baby was no longer alive. A couple days later the sac and baby passed, but some tissue was left inside and so I had to get a D&C. This was not how I pictured my childbearing years. I thought I would have at least 3 children if not more and that we would be one big happy family. Not this. This sucks. We are going to persue adopting from the state - maybe a 1-2 year old and try again in September for our own. We will be getting progesterone and some other things to help keep the pregnancy. I hope it works.

soooo..... after Arron and Andrew passed away, we really lost a lot of hope and of course our hearts were breaking. We were afraid to even try for another baby for fear that the same thing would happen. We got the courage to try again and got pregnant in August. It only lasted 7 weeks. The dr. said it was a blighted ovum. That means it fertalized and implanted and started to grow, but then stopped. My body thought I was still pregnant for 3 weeks after it stopped growing. I thought everything was fine until I went for my first app. and the ultrasound showed a gestational sac but no baby. The next day I miscarried. We waited for a month and find ourselves pregnant once again. I am six weeks pregnant and full of fear and worry. I try not to worry, but it is hard when this is your fifth pregnancy and you only have one child at home. I pray this time the baby makes it and we can have our family complete.