New life

I took a home pregnancy test last week and another one tonight.... I am pregnant again! I am excited, but guarded. I am so happy for the prospect of new life and being able to hold a little one. I wanted my boys Andrew and Aaron so badly, but it was not meant to be. I know they are playing with other babies that have passed in heaven and waiting for daddy and mommy to get there. I welcome this little one into my heart, but am having a really hard time letting myself love this new child. I am afraid he or she will pass as well and I will be hurt again. I will just have to see how it goes. I am hoping all goes well and this little bundle will join our family here on earth. I think of my boys every day and miss them so much. I hope they are looking out for this little one too.